I hate banks. Apparently, the feeling in mutual.

So banks hate me. Or, at least, Santander does. For some obscure reason I’m not aware of, every single time I need something out of the ordinary from them, it’s excruciatingly painful to get it. Somehow they find a way to keep annoying me with endless, random problems.

For the last whole month I’ve been trying to get myself a cheque-book to pay for my driving lessons and overdue rent. I ordered in through netbanking, that little thingy that supposedly makes life easier for everyone. However, after the 5 weekdays it asked for delivery, it still hadn’t arrived. I went to the ATM terminal (here in Brazil, due to overall high usage of cheque for almost everything, they are quite common), and it refused to give me some single cheque forms. Then, I went to the manager, in order to ask why this problem was occurring. She answered that, for some reason, there were two books that were ordered that went to the postal service’s limbo – four years ago. Assuming that this was the issue, she cancelled those and told me she would order another one the next day, so I wouldn’t have to worry about anything, and in 6 weekdays I would receive the book at home.

Approximately twenty days later (that’s today), I went again to the ATM to try and get some single cheque forms, which I needed desperately for today – no room for any more delays. However, as expected, the ATM refused to print them. Rage began to accumulate inside. I went straight to the manager, asked what the hell was wrong and demanded five cheque forms today – no discussion.

After several minutes, a crash in the computer (which runs Windoze), and two more people from the neighboring tables helping out, she finally discovered that, due to a R$ 2,70 (about US$ 1,35) tax that SOMEHOW wasn’t paid – BACK IN 2003. FOUR years ago! FOUR. YEARS.

The real catch is, their “system” only allows for “negotiation” of values above R$ 10,00 (about US$ 5,00) – which means that, since it wasn’t paid, and wasn’t enough for “negotiation”, it went nowhere else than the limbo. Until, after three managers digging thoroughly the records in their “system”, it finally arose to haunt me.

This was the last time I cut them some slack for their incompetence. I finally lost my patience with this crappy hell-hole they claim to be a bank, As soon as I get my stipend for this month (which is tomorrow) I’ll pay the goddamn money and close the account.

And to think that they’ve IMPROVED after privatization.

P.S.: I wish I could swear better in english. Since I can’t, I’ll do it in portuguese anyway.

Malditos filhos da puta, cuspidos do rabo de uma porca fedida no pântano do Rio Tietê! Incompetentes do caralho, como esses animais de teta conseguiram aprender a usar um computador?? COMO esses débeis mentais aprenderam a FALAR?? Façam um favor ao mundo e se matem.